Living in constant struggle


I have not written a whole heck of a lot of posts for the site. Mainly because I am lazy and mainly because I am afraid to be transparent...

I feel like the last 10 years of my life have flown by literally in the blink of an eye. My baby boy Isaac is now nearing 11 years on this earth. I have 3 other minions who I love dearly...I have had 482 jobs...So much has happened and so much has changed. Yet...I feel like I haven't changed. I feel as though I have been running this race we call life and I have barely survived. I feel shame for letting myself go beyond what a few weeks of eating healthy and working out can fix. I am bummed out that I have let myself become cynical and grumpy and frankly - a jerk at times. 

Living in chaos

People, the main thing that I keep coming back to is that I have been living in chaos. I have not truly planned out anything in my life and hoped that magically like Gob from Arrested Development that I would be amazing and everything would work out and that just isn't the case.

So I am taking some time to work on me. Starting with planning everything. I even created a "weekly action plan" that I keep with me. I have one for work and now I have one for me personally. Because I am sick and tired of living in chaos. God is not a God of chaos. He has planned out everything before us and wants us to be a part of the Kingdom in a big way. Can we be effective Jesus followers whilst living in chaos? Yes, because God can truly use any situation for His glory. But the thought that keeps tracing the my brain all the pain and suffering...self-inflicted? Am I getting mad at the world and mad at God when things go south...but the only reason it's going south is because I have succumbed to a life of chaos? I think so. With that lens on I now have been reassessing things and saying to myself..."no more Joe...take back your life and organize yourself." 

It started in the garage

It started with the garage. A few weeks ago I cleaned out my garage and went cray cray for two days cleaning it out and going to the dump. I was experiencing a moment of feeling like I didn't have control of my life. Like I was spinning out of control. When I cleaned out years of junk I had held onto I felt so much weight being lifted off my shoulders. So then I created a "weekly action plan" and implemented it at work. And guess what? A huge weight was lifted at work. Then I went to my weight and my health and said I need to plan out my every move so my wonderful wife (Sara)...she planned out every meal/snack with me for the week. And I feel a huge weight lifted...well soon I will. Give me 6-12 months ; )

This isn't rocket science but people if you are living a life of chaos. Start small. Ask God to give you wisdom and strength to tackle the little things first and then just keep going through each segment of your life. 

James 1:5 (ESV)

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.